Sunday, September 20, 2009

Hit the Road...or the Garage!

Ok, I'll attempt to talk about my new teen driver, but I'm still a little shaky.... It's a tough one.... sassy unpredictable daughter now becomes sweet helpful child when in her mind, it's time to 'go driving' - a couple of nights ago she sweet-talked my good sport husband into driving after he had relaxed a bit with a glass of wine. She is such a suck-up....Her meds have worn off by then so you really take your life into your hands....Because there are many times when he doesn't think either, he 'let' her BACK his car out of the garage so she could bash the front left side of it into the garage separating column.....He was pissed and actually surprised by this action which is quite remarkable since like me, he has experienced her trying to back out of the open driveway to either run into the side bushes or small stone wall on the other side almost every time!.... and to compound things on this situation... good sport husband was RIGHT THERE outside the car directing her!... The two of them are quite a combo. It's stunning to me and when he got a quote of $500 to 'fix' it (the white paint scrape looked particularily 'loud' on his black car) I almost bashed his head in with that idea. Repairs on this car are not a priority as I rubbed the paint scrape off. We're just starting on this 'journey'! (unfortunately) :)

Sunday, September 6, 2009

I'm back!

I know it's been awhile...will be getting back into the swing of things hopefully sooner than later. Yesterday's calamities reminded me of my earlier posts. The wild adventures of my kids...yikes.... I should have known when I started my day (1st thing) watching my son playing with my salad spinner while relaxing on my new couch. huh? I should have known it was a preview for the rest of the day. His behavior is nervous energy ...the sound of the spinning (much like his brain) before his meds kick in. Some days, it's hard to tell though, if the meds have had any effect whatsoever.....makes me wonder when just a short time later I asked him to deliver a gallon of paint upstairs to my painter and to put a 'test' quart in his sister's room. He apparently put the quart on its side (who does that? ) ! and yes, the paint leaked all over her carpet. Fortunately, and this never happens to me, I had ordered new carpet for delivery this week so my head didn't explode.... now I can continue writing.... and next up.... teen (ADHD)drivers! OMG... I've been in denial hoping I can calm down enough to write my thoughts on that subject. One thing is for sure, my daughter is going to win a special award for the hundreds of 'permit' hours she is going to rack chance I'm letting her loose on this one...not for years!

Friday, July 17, 2009

Ready for Flight! (and it's not me)

I'm so tired of kids- I really miss my days when they have a definite routine and are busy with's my luck they will have nothing to do with overnight camp! Lately it's been like a brush fire of mess and within the smoldering of all this, they follow me around the house so it's hard to fully extinguish. I am absolutely perplexed how my sassy unpredictable teenage daughter can fully trash the kitchen just like a toddler! Because I don't want to deal with her before I've had at least 2 cups of coffee, I quietly clean it up. (I know it's wrong to do that- but you would too) Then I finally tippy toe downstairs with my first cup for some peace in my little hovel in the basement now called my 'studio' to recover, and yep, she found me ! They really do have radar! I often wonder about this idea of 'Empty Nest Syndrome' --HUH? whoever coined that phrase as a 'problem' didn't live with my kids. I'm already thinking about changing the locks when they finally leave for college if they don't go to prison first.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

To Leak or Not to Leak

Thought I might get back to babbling to myself through this blog... it's been a tough week! I've been in leaky-basement-denial for months (or is it years) and because the weather is now fairly decent I decided the time was right to rip up the carpet & pad. I have suspected the water point-of-entry to be our no-drain window well. Through the years I've also learned this type of 'work' makes my children run like rats off a ship so after scrubbing the floor with Clorox myself and then putting the 2nd coat of epoxy paint down... I felt a sense of accomplishment. Even had a proud moment that my son 'agreed' to help me by rinsing out my large water vacuum with the hose in the front yard. Because he had also 'helped' the day before (for a bit) ...he was ready for 'pay-day' -- another DS game's like putting quarters in a vending machine! We were gone several hours doing a million errands including his reward. It was a good time to leave because the fan was running to dry the newly painted floor. Then true to my mantra, of everything simple must be complicated by something stupid that usually involves my family, we returned to a flooded front yard compliments of the hose that had been left ON (by my helpful son) it then built up pressure and blew off the hose-wheel rack leaking into the window well and flooding the newly painted floor. So now my suspicion was confirmed! That my ADHD son was completely distracted and didn't finish his job.... oh I mean, that the water was coming in from that 'spot' ...... to be continued (unfortunately) !

Sunday, July 5, 2009

An Exercise Hottie.....

There's nothing more motivating than being in an exercise class with a bunch of women talking about their 'periods' ... for me, that subject is past-tense, but there are still days when I just 'fake' it like I can relate. Well… I can relate to the mood swings and bloating- that’s for sure! In my ‘Boot Camp’ exercise class, I'm huffing and puffing talking myself out of a hot flash, practically killing myself, thinking if I can kinda keep up then they won't know how freak'n old I am. It’s a game I play with myself, a reality challenge.

In our family age-faking has been a tradition since my late 30's - my own mother has been lying about MY age for years so I have learned from the best. Because I birthed children at a more mature age, I can almost get away with it (and so can she) .....The problem is, when you do that- you’ve got to keep up the image while still seriously working off ‘baby fat’ in their teen years. That part sucks. I was a producer of a 10 lb baby that began with a full load of infertility drugs as the foundation. Not only is my metabolism f---ked, but my energy is lower which is a bit problematic in the weight-loss business. It's also survival for my, I have to work out to minimally keep up with an ADHD family.

It has been interesting to be at the opposite end of the child rearing spectrum- when my same-age best friend was on a college tour with her son, I was potty training my son! I know I’m not alone in this endeavor, I’ll just have to find some friends my own age to work out with, but one thing’s for sure, I will always keep lathering up on wrinkle cream- the kind with preservatives in it!

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

This reflection

Don't get me wrong, I am very grateful to have the lifestyle we do and to be able (sometimes) to be home with the kids. This does have a price though in this home. There are regular high-impact times that I can assure you, know one in the world would want to be exposed to- you could never pay anyone either to take over. There are days that I've run away .... days that I have gone on 'strike' and days that I could only wish to get my ass fired from this difficult job. No such luck... :) Mothering is one of those things that unless you do it, you can't even imagine how hard it can be..... I certainly wasn't prepared....being an older Mom with 2 ADHD medicated kids is a challenge in the purest of forms. Never could I fathom this type of 'energy' - a menopausal mom (ME) and a hormonal teenager in the same room...and on the fringe of this; another ADHD medicated child and an unmedicated ADHD husband (the Good Sport) .... well, I'm beginning to think I'm the 'Good Sport' to put up with this crowd --- Keeping this 'energy' harnessed is a form of survival around here. :)

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Timing is everything......

Around here it is so rare that I would ever sleep in so today when my son burst in at 6:30 to ask if the fresh white (never worn) turtleneck he had on would be 'OK' to wear for paint-ball camp at 8:30....all I could say was 'perfect'. I'm so sick of interruptions. For years, good-sport husband and I have been bewildered at their timing; our children have a precise sense of's as though they are 'behind-the-scenes' with fingers up...3-2-1 to come into a room at the exact time the network news is starting. Or when we are in the middle of (an even rarer occasion) a real conversation- to then be interrupted to never again remember what we were talking about. It happens all the time. Our kids have no sense of their surroundings -- like most kids, it's all about them and that moment. With ADHD in the mix...their whirling brains don't even realize what they've done...onto the next interruption! (until their meds kick-in, and even then, there is no magic pill). :)

Thursday, June 25, 2009

A Hottie Not-ie, that's a term... wish I COULD 'pause' ...but if I did, I would probably incinerate on the spot. We live in the midwest and the humidity is killing me. With the wild pace of having an ADHD family it's impossible to slow down and I'm finding myself breathless from this heat mixed with 'flashes'... I'm such a 'Hottie' .... NOTie. Aside from the weather, never thought I would find myself eye to eye with a hormonal teenager (14) in the very year that I was on my last gasp of my child-bearing years. OMG... we are a living WMD -- just waiting to go off! My good-sport husband and son know when to run for cover - this has been going on for a year now, and we still haven't been able to find common ground (or a foxhole)-- mix that with desperate humidity and we just need to take a 'pause' from each other.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Hum de Dumb mess....longer than I'd like

It appears as though I am making up stupid stories to keep myself amused (or others), but I assure you I am not. With that said, yet another mess-story has occurred that began with the best of intention. It all started with good sport hubby and I observing real hummingbirds (finally, something faster than the kids) on our honeysuckle vines. It occurred to me that buying a hummingbird feeder for a Father's Day gift would be a perfect gift! well, wrong again, but true to my style of - multiple steps for simple things, I bought a hummingbird feeder that I gave to good sport dad. Upon opening it, we discovered that it didn't have a picture of the finished product or written directions so I returned to the store for instruction, but this time with sassy unpredictable ADHD teen daughter who occasionally makes bad choices. I instructed her to go in and ask the store people to put it together. Unfortunately, everyone including the store personnel took everything to it's literal degree and the next thing I saw was my daughter returning to the car with an open plastic glass filled with red sugary humming bird juice (it was the 'left over' batch for the feeder). As I was yelling about that (and putting the liquid in my now empty water bottle), we looked into the bag and the clerk (under my daughters watchful eye) had 'loaded' the feeder which had now leaked out into the plastic bag and was half full with red sugary hummingbird 'juice'. Ok, now you're probably thinking, just throw the towel in an cut your losses-- well not me, I need to continue to add steps! Sassy unpredictable daughter then got in the car with this limpid package and was holding it carefully by the handles. We actually made it about 5 miles before the red, sugary hummingbird juice spilled all over the carpeted floor of my car. We continued on! Then at home, determined to make this work..... we loaded the 'left over' into the now empty feeder, where ADHD teen then turned the top too hard and broke the glass for the top! Taa da... the 'project' was over... Happy Father's Day! :)

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Happy Anniversary Laundry

There are very few things that remain constant in my life, but one for sure is the tradition that my good sport husband started over 20 years ago. He always takes me out for dinner to celebrate our wedding anniversary. He has always referred to this marked occasion (June 20th) as 'my anniversary' oh, well... I'll take it anyway I can. A lovely night out away from kids/dogs and mess- I wouldn't miss it! We picked a new fancy restaurant where the food has small servings (which is fine with me) and high prices.... You would think that criteria alone would attract a more refined crowd -- no such luck. My 'luck' involved an aggressive older woman with a large hand bag on her shoulder trying to squeeze her fat ass in the table area next to me. The bi-product of that move was a newly filled tall thin-stem glass of my husband's red wine flying through the air all over me and my white summer outfit- even hit the inside of my purse! This move was so swift and quick that the woman didn't even realize what she had done until my good sport husband became not such a good sport and started yelling & swearing at her. It was stressful to say the least.....AND..... you can't beat a night out that involves an 'intermission' to go home and completely change and DO LAUNDRY! :)

Friday, June 19, 2009

Sold Gold....PILLS!

I know I'm getting behind in my writing...just don't want to burn out! -- need to communicate my crazy life in small doses cuz I can't even take it! This morning my son dropped pure gold all over the kitchen floor, really it was a whole bottle of his ADHD medication...Silly me, to think he could just take ONE pill out of the bottle (under my watchful eye) and swallow it ..... just like everything around here, a full blown process- nothing is simple or efficient!.... while I was making breakfast, the pills went flying on the dogs (mostly the sheepdog) and under the stove/table/ refrigerator! Because to me, it's like pure gold (and would probably kill the dogs) we had a real scavenger hunt this morning and it's not even 7 am... to compound things, I'm exhausted from actually hearing storms all night (they were bad if I heard them) so it's going to be another day with a 'coffee drip'... oh well... at least it's something I like. I'll probably also have what us Mom's call a 'suburban highball' around 3 pm.... to get ready for 2nd shift- actually going out with ADHD hubby and will need to keep up ...'dregs and cream' is we call it, loaded with our drug of choice, caffeine.

Monday, June 15, 2009

T.G.I.M ! :)

I'm one of those Mom's who dreads the weekend today is my 'Happy Day' T.G.I.M. ! :)... Usually after surveying the weekend massacre-of-mess around here and everyone has finally gone to their respective activities, I'm free! But not today, kids kept me running (I mean driving) to all points of the area- so much for summer vacation!.... Needed all sorts of things to start first day of camp... Being the ill prepared mom that I am, I was cutting tags off all needed supplies in the Target parking lot at 8:05 am in route to camp! New bathing suit, towel, sandals ...... with coffee in hand I managed this task quickly and my tip for the day is my mini pocket knife.... just the most useful tool! With one kid organized...the next was starting... the high-maintenance one; I obediently started on her 'to-do list' which is still not complete...oh well..there's always tomorrow.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Missed writing last night...was busy correcting a guest writer in our local newspaper who decided that ADHD is a condition you 'catch' from our dysfunctional society! She also made it very clear that kids are needlessly medicated.... Really?!? Well I happen to know differently- with two medicated officially diagnosed ADHD children, I now have a PhD on this subject! I know for a fact, that it's a real physical brain-thing that the kids (and my husband) were born with... sorry to disappoint her. But if she spent a day with my kids unmedicated, she would be a born-again pill pusher. I have to think this writer has never know children who make impulsive decisions like cutting an extension cord under a bed with scissors ('mommy, fire') or a kid that takes a metal fork to new heavy vinyl (for a boat) custom cushion just to hear the popping sound! or how about a child that puts big limestone slabs of stone on the hood of my husband’s newly detailed car?.... or the creative step-stool that was a coffee can of bacon grease (a la Dr. Atkins diet days) that her feet went through to then come and find me in the house?! One kid drank a urine sample (not mine) from my doctor's office.- thought it was apple juice! ......These are not actions of normal kids... normal kids wouldn't even think of these things! So welcome to my world of the ADHD SUPER KID.... daily medication needed!

Friday, June 12, 2009

Bedtime for mommy...

Well, today has been yet another 'work' day for mom... I was excavating crushed limestone from a place in my garden where we used to have a cedar playhouse.. (I tore that down myself on Wednesday) anyway, I worked for hours with a pick to loosen the stones like a prisoner -- oh, yeah, I forgot that's what I am... my kids were naturally 'unavailable' to help so I am not available for dinner duty tonight... my good-sport husband is going to feed this motley crew with take-out so loser mom (me) can sequester herself with a locked door to our bedroom at 6:30 pm and read a Vanity Fair magazine from March '08! I'm hoping I can increase my words-per-evening to 20 before my eyes roll into the back of head and I start snoring...... I'm quite the hottie lately... hoping my husband will remember his key- there is no way I'll hear him beat on the door.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

A little house of horrors! (kids home on cleaning lady day!)

One of my greatest joys in life is to have one day in a 2 week period where the whole house is professionally recalibrated and cleaned --- On this day, I don't even mind laundry that I know for a fact hasn't been just ends up in the basket for me to do again... yea!... more work! This unusual state of clean, where some days, I'm working as hard as the cleaning lady, overrides everything else... Today was one of those only lasts for a 1/2 day when the kids are in school and a 1/2 hour when they are home...but for me, it is a joy nonetheless. Because school is now over, we had the second scenario and it sucked... Right after I filled the house with beautiful peony's from my garden, I discovered my teenager rummaging around in the kitchen...cereal on the floor... several dirty pans from her elaborate breakfast, make up in the office and guest room- she is just a walking mess from room-to-room... Because I am a 'stay-at-home' Mom- I spend a great deal of time scheduling everyone OUT of the house so I can 'stay' in peace, quiet and clean. I'm like a booking agent ... babysitting yes!, internships of all kinds…yes! ...volunteer activities- yes! camp yes!.... I'm thinking of putting a tent in the yard so they'll have a place to stay when they return...:)

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

End of School ....Trash Day

Today was the day that I 'get' to drive to school to be greeted by each child with their special garbage bag of school treasures.... in the past I have had to wear gloves and a mask and that was just their backpacks....As I mentioned before and will probably mention a million more times because I'm old and I repeat myself, both of my children are ADHD medicated and a common trait among this 'variety' of kid is complete and utter disorder.....teachers have described them as having desk areas that look like a hamster cage so you can only imagine their lockers.... Because I don't have a haz-mat suit (yet) I have told them they are both responsible for their crap and it must stay in the garage until it is 'unloaded' properly. My 'grace period' is going to be about 1 day, because I have learned over the years....they don't even miss it and I'm kidding myself to think there is anything valuable in the trash bag....

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

End of the school year..ugg....

I usually like to write new entries in the evening, but this morning I was dropping my kids off at school and flashes of past 'last day of school' overcame me.... like the time, I was taking a small breathe as I retrieved my 3rd cup of coffee from the microwave to hear what sounded like a rain forest noise coming from the basement..... we have always had a leaky basement, but this time, I was confronted with a substantial waterfall as a result of a break in our City water-main line - we were in crisis mode for about a 10 days after that then I did what any illogical person would do..... I went out and adopted a large Old English Sheepdog... (Emma). :) Or the other time (on the last day of school), when our air conditioner broke and as I was paying the repair guy ($700) the kids were on the other side of the house hanging on the outside handle of the garage door- ($150).... so today, I'm going to sit tight and hope that we remain stable...

Monday, June 8, 2009

No lip... (stick)

I've decided this blog is going to be sprinkled with various tips that a wild mother like myself, just might find useful... it makes me recall this past Mother's Day how I was greeted by my teenager with a fresh new (now empty) tube of Wild Orchid lipstick that had just been washed and dryed into a very full load of mostly my clothes. Even though it was Mother's Day, my daughter was pissed as though this was a deliberate act on my part! As though I just can't wait to tackle another load of washed and dryed lipstick all over everything! woo hoo ...can't wait.... afterall, it was 'Mother's Day!' .......I had my 'secret' recipe, but first because I always have to do things the hard way... I bought a new bottle of Resolve Carpet Cleaner from a suggestion I saw on the web... because I'm never satisified unless I have wasted time and money... and yep, right again... the "Resolve" suggestion did back to my tried and true recipe... hot, hot water... mix Cascade powder for the dishwasher, Tide and a little Oxiclean -- put clothes in your sink and soak and stir with a wooden spoon like a crazy witch... Repeat, Repeat... then wash...if it's a really miserable load like this may have to repeat up to five times...but it does come out... ! :)

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Today's fight....

Ever fight with your kid to get a Christmas thank you note written to then have it returned by the recipient (my Mother) with red marks on it for a 're-do'?...well, thats what happens around here. So now when a thank you needs to be written (his birthday) it becomes yet another homework assignment for Mom (me) fight, fight, fight...paranoid insecurity by my son -- His lecture about how ungrateful his Grandmother is- 'and the nerve of her to return a thank you note' ..... so today, after 3 redo's from me.... he decides to live on the edge and send a note that I am certain my Mother will still not find 'up to snuff' ... since she actually forgot his birthday this year, I kind of don't give a shit ... now, I am really living on the edge! :)

Friday, June 5, 2009

Help...does it ever end?

Ok... this is it...I'm really going to do it.. This time I'm going to try to not be like my ADHD medicated kids and my unmedicated ADHD husband, and I'm going to really start blogging... Stay focused...organize my thoughts...write for therapy.....yes that's what I'll do... I'll 'hyperfocus' that's what they call it... oh, where to begin...I've gone nowhere.... but it seems so far.... the years have gone by really fast, but the days are really long... I know that sounds insane, but that's my life.... 

I guess things started to really go crazy about 15 years ago... and I have no one else to blame but my daughter ... ! OMG and then more craziness began when I gave birth to our son. To think back on the days of our busy pre-kids executive lives...traveling the world, nice hotels, a clean house ..... 2 lovely pets-- it was a life I will now never know again. I just imagine making a statement that is not debated 10 times over........As it relates to this blog I am certain that I've learned a few things along the way that just might be useful to others... I've also made a ton of mistakes and from that, I might be able to also lend a hand to people just starting on this MOM's a real trip.

I have stories about my family that involve things you just can't make up...   enjoy
The International Laundress