Attention Spans..... itired, istressed....NEED SLEEP Zzzz

Warning:  This is not a silly rip on my family - but a needed RANT! :)  ......  I feel better already! :)

You would think that I would be 'seasoned' to a life of short attention spans, after all ... I've been watching people with ADHD (which is my whole family) and seeing them actually become 'distracted-from-shiny-things' before it was a popular phrase! ..... What I believe now cranks this idea into a new gear are all the electronic gadgets (shiny and non shiny) beckoning our attention 24/7.   One would think that having a laptop, ipad/tablet or smart phone would make life easier, but I think it complicates things if you start getting some volume and you are not used to managing things this way.  (like I am)   In addition to this mindset and new way of communicating is the FACT that most people today are in 'survival mode' for their own lively hood.  Everyone is stressed-out and chronically exhausted with information overload....  An unfortunate fact indeed. 

For me, being  in the field of Marketing & Communications for years... I had always learned that you research first, then nurture contacts - write them - personalize a message to their needs and in most cases they will respond.  Could I really have been that stupid!?!  The eye opener for me today is  how people (even friends) have no time for anything except their own survival.  No malice is intended I know, but after months and months of email 'follow-up' I've determined it really is a ridiculous way to communicate. 

At first, I thought I had 'email halitosis' :) 

The 'new professionals' are now hiding behind their computers armed with a simple 'delete' button... tsk, tsk... and  spending time finding phone numbers today is like being a private investigator  -- and as soon as your area code is i.d.-ed... you're done.  It's worse than breaking through a castle fortress!  

Editors proclaim;...'We'd LOVE to hear from you!' that is,... until you write! :)  Friends have no time to even respond to a quick question - lost in their fast stream of other things to do....even old friendships are scorched on the back burner.   I am sure that I am far from alone, but is this really a way to conduct business (or  basic friendship)?!   It's like the 8th wonder of the world. 

Our sluggish economy contributes to this problem and is fueled by crisis reports fanned into flames by the Media .... most reports are true, but where are the suggestions for improvement?  oops ...just saw something shiny (and it's not a coin) ....
.....has the whole world 'caught' ADHD?    Unemployment is frightening and filling Starbucks over sized chairs with talent nationwide .... older workers are replaced by younger, inexperienced cheaper workers .... compassion, loyalty and basic manners are forever gone.     So I spend my work day writing to 'Santa' ho, ho, ho... it's ironic too, because the brand I represent is now needed more than ever! Everyone is just wiped out from life...
   

Ok, I'm coming out of the closet... (er, I mean drawer).... for the past 70+ posts I have created funny words that link a wild life to the important connection to SLEEP. (in case any of you have paid attention to that).  The connection is still there, but I am going to take it to a new level (are you still with me here?).... it's new sleepwear that I personally discovered  (then joined the company) that really helps me sleep better. The brand is called Goodnighties Recovery Sleepwear  and I am also thrilled to say that it is 100%  Made in the USA .... hmm, maybe that's the answer to our problems?  Think clearly about that for a second and think about how your life might change by consciously buying 100%American Made Goods... hmm?  create demand here (in the U.S.) it's a refreshing new concept!  --- this creates jobs... jobs create security and freedom from a wild ADHD life...  It's what I would call a 'simple solution' so we can help ourselves through tough economic times.  So 'jammie testers' you know who you are... start promoting!    Even someone with an attention span of a fruit gnat can get that one!  (I think)

xo The International Laundress!

P.S. You get an 'A+' if you made it to here! Gimme '5' without squishing the gnat!

Also, if you are also frustrated --- feel free to write me! :) and if you have communication ideas for me.. better yet! xo

When 'NO' means oh, all right !

My Darling Daughter did it again -- Good Sport Husband says she has a 'good heart'.... I say she has a tin ear, so when she pulled  into the driveway tonight to tell me she had a 'problem ' I knew intuitively that it wouldn't be good.  So like I have done a million times before ... I took a deep breathe and trudged forward not knowing what to expect. 

I carefully leaned into the car window to find a full-grown Calico CAT of all

 things in her lap - found in her friend's neighborhood and after her own interrogation of people near by, determined that it was 'homeless' and brought this cat now named 'Emily' into our stable of other animals.  My budding Veterinarian (darling daughter)  had already determined that this feline was extremely dehydrated ('practically starving') and after checking her teeth -- knew the CAT to be about 4 years old!

 I vehemently protested about this idea but in her usual fashion, with 'NO' being her starting point for negotiation....she swiftly marched by me .... into our house with the CAT to find her ally, Good Sport Husband who gave her the nod.  I was actually surprised by his reaction since he complains endlessly about having to change our current litter box every other day because of the smell.   Good Sport Husband is a softy for animals....especially cats.  They both are crazy in my opinion.  So now tonight we have a true menagerie of animals.... 3 cats, 2 dogs a fish and a bird.... I feel like I should add a partridge in a pear tree.  And now... my new job is finding a home for 'Emily'... I just learned that 'the cat favors classical music'....(I am not making this up)  any takers? meow, meow... ;)  It's fun writing a blog in 'real time'.... can we say...it's the 'cat's pajamas' ?

 xo The International Laundress

P.S. NEWS FLASH update:  Darling Daughter received a very stern phone call around 11:15 pm  from Emily's owner (at least she had the sense to leave a phone number with someone!)  so Emily the CAT (age 18) was promptly returned and her  'excellent adventure' has come to an end  :) 

It's now 'FALL' - a new season of my life! :)

I'm back! ... no, I'm not hiding under the rubble pictured up top, but there are times when I have felt like it! This has been one loooong summer and now it's FALL. Within the extreme life that I live, the weather has been right in line with my life. Extreme heat, torrential rains, indescribable humidity....and then (like my kids) the gigantic mosquitoes join in. That's 'summer' in the Midwest. I am not fond of heat for a variety of reasons. After years of running full throttle, additional 'heat' is just not something I enjoy so I do my best to stay near fans and A/C. The cold weather coming fast is a welcome relief so I am enjoying it as best I can.

Now for the update; Darling Daughter is now driving and I have to say...it's not as bad as I thought it would be. My late-night dispatch 'runs' have stopped and she is so eager to drive - even offering to do errands for me! Also, because we now have something she really wants (the car) her attitude has changed greatly and we are having real conversations and she even asked me to braid her hair last week! :) I don't think I have been allowed to 'touch' her hair for 10 years. It was nice.

Darling son on the other hand is still making questionable choices and last weekend around 9:45 pm invited 8 boys into our newly cleaned house... I'm too tired to micro- manage except to say I did not appreciate hearing bb gun shots in the dark as they were I'm sure, also tramping around in dog sh-- outside to then bring into my clean house. He was 'entertaining' too bringing shelled peanuts outside in one of my good ceramic bowls. One of the joys of my life and I have few these days, is having my dear polish ladies clean once a month. I have been protecting the floors like a prison warden and banished the boys to the basement via text. I think my son knew intuitively they better stay there! I was actually able to then go to sleep!

xo

The International Laundress

The Sound of Silence....Never Happening Here!

Today was an amazing start of my day for about 2:13 minutes...I do savor the quiet- outside temperature was great (for a change) and my whole family was sound asleep (it's early Sunday) so like walking over booby-traps I created a goal to read yesterday's paper in my quiet little corner-of-the-world (my outside hammock). This area is small and sacred - an unsuspecting side -yard next to the driveway.  It's a space framed with a simple pergola and the atmosphere is created with a relaxing sound of water from a fountain. 

To capitalize on this opportunity - I quickly organized the dogs after recalibrating the kitchen from the zombie behavior of Darling Son who left his usual mess... uncovered cream cheese and all the kitchen lights on (overnight) I then decided to bring outside TuTu my sweet bird and her bird friend 'Tommy' (who we are bird sitting) -  Despite being caged, with dog Lollipop peaking 'in', they still love the beautiful serenity of being outside too.   It was a quiet scene (and cute too) I decided to video tape this unique moment. (below) 

I then gently leaned back in my hammock..... goodnighties on... hot coffee in hand to have a moment for ME--

Then, like a calamity on wheels I hear a ruckus coming down the street - the sound was getting louder -- it was a big ass truck.... and then to my total amazement (and horror)..... the noisy truck started backing into OUR driveway... I honestly thought it was a joke.  Then 'the guys' in the truck got out (it's 7:35am) to declare that they were here to 'fix' pot holes and repair the driveway... huh?    So the moment was ruined thanks to  Good Sport Husband... err, I mean Crazy Husband - who 'booked' them for this urgent job -- on a Sunday am.  

Grrr
Need to start over again !   although the aroma of tar still lingers  :(

P.S. If I had ever done this- ...the sound of silence would have been interrupted by machine-gun expletives (from his mouth).  Timing has never been a strong-point for my group.  although I do thank Good Sport Husband for bringing me breakfast in the 'green zone'.... so he's forgiven :)
xo
The International Laundress 

Extreme Parenting (it sucks)

Once as a result of a smart-mouth, I 'made' Darling Daughter watch  ME in horror from the spectator stands, as I 'took'  HER one hour private skating lesson.  A hardship for sure ... a struggle to not break a hip ... embarrassing to Darling Daughter.... to later find off ice,  other Mom's bowing down to me with support - some were even clapping :)   It was one of my finer moments as being a parent :) not a permanent cure for her sassy mouth, but a victory that still brings a smile to my face!

 Since then, I have been in search of other techniques with quiet impact....

Today while on the phone rushing around my friend could hear the shock and awe in my voice after seeing Darling Son's room.  'Inspection' had been delayed... I've been busy and frankly haven't cared what his room looked like - he's 14 now and surely he has heard a few of the 100 times I remind him, to be sure and put away clothes and organize  his room ... but apparently, his ears are painted on again... or am I speaking Chinese?   What came next was another brilliant epiphany...

Like a  joke, my friend suggested I put his things in a trash can (like HER Mother did for her sister) and  I have to say from just hearing that suggestion, I couldn't drive to the hardware store fast enough.   Such a brilliant idea - so compact and contained... and it has wheels. Clean up today was swift and exciting .... So see above,  Darling Son's new 'dresser'.... a 34 gallon drawer - so roomy and the color is dreamy for his room!    I'm thinking its a good investment too for when he goes to college- like new rolling luggage.  can't wait.  :)

 xo The International Laundress

Things that just don't 'go' together!

After recently seeing a shiny red Mercedes convertible with a licence plate that said 'MYRNA' (HUH?)? it got me thinking about other things that just don't go together like today.... waking up early to a strong wafting smell of burned eggs which usually means a charred pan with the remnants of that, ground into our flat-top stove and dishes/ pans/ drips everywhere.  Dogs were also barking ...

We were playing Saturday 'chicken' again - determining who would be first to survey the collateral damage. As it turned out, Good-Sport Husband was feeling braver and my Excederin hadn't kicked in (yet)....so he volunteered.... But today, much to our astonishment the 'damage' was nowhere to be found... hmm?  it's a real mystery.  We were also surprised to see a relatively clean kitchen.... this is frightening stuff ... like tippy toeing over a land mine.  

It seems that Darling Daughter made herself breakfast, cleaned up and then rode her bike to her job..... Amazing... Exhilarating ....  a feeling providing us with a glimmer of hope for the future .... Next up, Darling Son and the 3 teenage boys who stayed for a sleepover...well, at least we know it's a 'wave' today instead of the usual tsunami.

For me, I'm going to enjoy my coffee in bed and light a scented candle until the inevitable  roar of the next wave begins.

xo
The International Laundress :) 

Shoot me now...! :)

While I was picking BB's out of my kitchen garbage disposal it occurred to me that my Darling Son needs to find a new hobby and I don't think it's this one.  I was less than enthusiastic that Good Sport Husband (who used to 'shoot' as a kid) recently bought him a Daisy Red Rider air gun (yes, the kind that will 'put your eye out') it was something they had been talking about for a while - you know, male bonding. I knew it had to be a grand idea to pry his fingers off the X Box 360 controls, so after several outside 'lessons' with safety glasses and ground rules he was in our back area shooting plastic water-filled bottles in a matter of days. It is now a fenced target range so neighbors beware!   I had been warming up to the idea of having him do something that involved being outside - quite a change from the underground video game life he has been living.  In usual hyper-focused fashion Darling Son can sometimes now be found practicing in his new 'target-range'  at 5 am....fortunately, it's quiet for an outside activity... unlike trombone playing...

I'm just waiting for something crazy to happen - like a bad dream.  It reminds me of the time in real life when he was tooting his new trombone in the front yard (huh?) and a neighbor kid started chasing him and he tripped over some bushes -- tumbled down and bent the spit valve and other parts which became a major repair.  I know if I've learned anything from this journey of 'parenting' that I need to prepare for the unexpected...hmm?  stay tuned..... 
xo
The International Laundress

The Beginning of a Leaky Life.... :)

I thought I would enjoy a cup of coffee in bed before I checked damage from a night of torrential rainfall.  This is another area I am extremely experienced in .... that is, cleaning up water in a leaky basement.  This began with the previous owners claiming the unfinished basement water seepage was 'only about a half cup a year' ... which a plumber once translated for me by saying 'they must have meant a 55 gallon drum'.  

So before knowing that, during our move in period (16 days prior to Darling Son's birth 5/26/97), we had  the basement 'finished'. 

In our world, the basement area finished/or not was the deal breaker in our house purchase because we were in desperate need of a bunker to store Darling Daughter's  many toys and most importantly have a contained area for this wildly energetic child to play.  We decided not to wait...remodel NOW... I was set... whoo- hoo...

I immediately turned the room into a darling carpeted pre-school... bright alphabet letters framed the room and her favorite, Sesame Street decals on the wall - learning posters everywhere... couldn't have been cuter (really) ... Once I proudly showed this new space to the previous owner (she was picking up curtains I told her she could have back) and I remember how quiet and pale she became w/ a quick exit... I stupidly thought she must be remorseful at selling her home with such potential a 'vision' she couldn't have imagined as a way of expanding the living space.

So that fateful October rainy night when my intuition told me to check the basement at 1:30 am I was even more horrified (if that's possible) to find a room of floating toys, stuffed animals and books waiting for me.  

It was one of those nights imprinted on my brain.  I quietly salvaged what I could (things like the indestructible Little Tikes kitchen etc.) piled things in our new dining room.  At the time, I didn't know what a sump pump was or where it was...after all, we had carpeted over the floor drain.   

My 'equipment' for clean up was a mini-car vacuum for water collection and after hauling at least 75 buckets of water upstairs to the kitchen sink...my work was done... and my workout for the next 5 years was complete.... Good Sport Husband was shocked when Darling Daughter woke him up at 5 am (the usual time then) to find this mess - just shocked (it was a noted occasion) the beginning of our new reality where nothing would surprise either one of us again. :)
xo
The International Laundress

Friendly Fire from the DMZ :)

Whew, I'm safe... locked in the 'Green Zone,' my bedroom. It's a rewind from being blown from a sound sleep by Good Sport Husband's bazooka-sounding discovery that yes.... involved Darling Daughter.   I knew intuitively exactly what transpired and because this has happened before, I won't bore my readers with the smelly details - except to say that the 'humans' in this house (namely Darling Daughter - an honor student) failed AGAIN on the complicated task of adding the additional 'step' in her daily routine of turning a door knob  (to let high-spirited Lollipop 'out') - after all, it's all about THEM isn't it?  - the second  'step'  in this process, involves turning a key (hmm... maybe that's the hang-up) ? 

Because this poor animal waits and waits and waits while Darling Daughter has a lovely breakfast at 5 am,  then showers, involving at least an hour's time lapse -  her routine of being  fresh & clean makes the office - where the dogs sleep,  (next to this bathroom)  into a catastrophic nightmare and today.... a real DMZ  (Dog Mess Zone) ... and  it was particularly not pleasant under my husband's work area.  So resident (very experienced) 'Poo-pologist' (ME) had to quickly step in (literally) and Save -The -Day.  :)

In the military theatre-of-my-life, these escapades are not part of the time-management of my day...so it's easier to just start over and pretend it didn't happen like a bad dream.   I will also add to that, a broken light bulb mess and helping Darling Son 'escape' from the men's 'tie' he was supposed to wear today that was apparently 'strangling' him complete with red-faced yelling and drama. 

Now for my first cup of coffee my last Excedrin....and hopefully a better 'start' to my day.
xo
The International Laundress :) 

I have a DREAM...really I do....

I wish my world was full of 'aha moments' instead of  'OH, NO... 'who broke THIS ? '  or  what is THAT smell ?    I long for a time when my own Mother doesn't lament .... 'I don't know how YOU can take it'.... 

Really?

I get it.....it's crazy 'looking IN '.... it's also crazy 'IN' here ....  but it's the life I've created (whatever that means) .... 'created' ... hmm?

Next time around... my dream would be to 'create' a family that doesn't answer all statements and questions from me with an immediate ....  'WHY?' or 'NO'.... the debating is what is so exhausting  (a link :)...  and I will go back to traveling Internationally  without a cell phone and 'check in' every few months - yeah, that's what I'll do :)   I'll even bring my paints :)

Like a magic carpet ride, it would be a hard adjustment at first (for about a minute).... I would think of the barking dogs, slamming doors, foot prints and weird things stuck to the floor  and Good-Sport Husband's loud tone-deaf singing to C &W music when he is grilling. 


I would also think of my watery eyes as I drove Darling Daughter to school doused with Britney Spears 'cologne' - the true meaning of  'toliet water' ...  I would also think of Darling Son... always running for something in  'white' socks on a dirty driveway -  then both fighting in the 5 minute trip to school with endless strategic conversations about where they are going (later) with my money.    It's endless....  I will think of a time like yesterday when my Darling Daughter decided to (finally) 'check in' with me - stating 'Mom, I'm checking in'  ....  an unprompted startling revelation to be sure that made me first think she was at a hotel... (see, I'm already thinking about my getaway )   :)

xo
The International Laundress

The 'C'-section as in 'Chaos' Section redefines LABOR

My baby.... Darling Son is FOURTEEN today... wow... and to be honest, I'm not feeling remorseful or any of the other typical MOM-feelings (ok... just a few)... because I can't wait for them to grow up!  I'm more amazed that my brain can still think back on the details of that 'event' ....  what a fiasco....

It seems like  just yesterday when we had moved into our home 16 DAYS prior to his Birth-day.  Leading up to that momentous occasion,  I was immersed in unpacking many many boxes, painting shelves, closets and the kitchen, hanging draperies, up and down on ladders and chasing 3-year-old Darling Daughter.  (Did I mention I also was on crutches with a major sprained ankle).... the 'darling' baby blue nursery was on the back-burner so to speak... hadn't even bought diapers (yet)

Because of my advanced maternal age and the fact that Darling Son was in a breech position -- a tidy C-section was scheduled for 5/29 so I was under deadline...  What I didn't know was....I was heading into my own extended 'C-Section' as in 'Chaos-Section' ramping up for the idea that  ONE (kid) + ONE (kid) = 's at least FIVE in our house   and I might add, not the kind of value anyone wants.

The night all this began,  I found myself  on May 26th  at 2 am having my own shock and awe moment when my water broke.  These are life events you don't forget... but I apparently 'forgot' to arrange any kind of a plan and couldn't even find my shoes to go the hospital    With a towel between my legs I was waddling around the house throwing things together for my pending overnight...not telling anyone (yet)  the only thing I could remember was my doctor's number... he told me to call him in route (23 miles away) - naturally, I was not pre-registered at the hospital and didn't know where to go - had planned to work on that on 5/28   The other problem in all this commotion, was the 3 year old staring at us.  No family nearby and I didn't know any neighbors yet, so I got lucky (a rarity indeed) when my dear friend 12 miles aways just happened to be in town and just happened to answer the phone at 2:15 am to hear that a drop-off was emanate.  It was HER lucky day... err I mean middle-of -the-night.    By that time, my pain (that old familiar feeling) was starting to build - I was definitely in LABOR .... lunatic Good-Sport Husband, refused to speed or blow through red lights and I was yelling (offering to drive)  as we got lost trying to find this strange new hospital in a major urban city in the dark.   The cobble-stone streets were killing me as we bumped along... flagging down cabbies who had limited English skills for directions.  This whole escapade makes me tired  just thinking about it so I will move on... at 5:30 am that day, my healthy baby boy was born.....and then the real work began -- the 'Labor' of my life started ... :)

Brain Erosion - it's happening! Zzzz

We have always said if you are in need of a nap, the last place in this house would be to try to sleep on one of our living room couches... in fact, it's been compared to sleeping in the middle of a road --- waaay too many kids, dogs and chaos.... open doors and windows..... so you're just asking for trouble if you think even for-a-second that it's a place to relax (let alone sleep)...

Today, being a quiet Sunday afternoon,  I surprised even myself when I started reading the newspaper to then wake from a REM sleep about ninety minutes later.   Good-Sport Husband even said there was a loud crash of thunder that I didn't even hear... oops... additionally, because I hadn't checked the weather, I was refinishing furniture with plans to finish, and my plugged in electric sander and paint supplies were all outside as a flash rain storm hit our area  .... upon waking, I was DAZED (and shocked) .....to compound things, my car with all windows down (naturally) was also completely exposed to this quick storm...  Good-Sport Husband quickly jumped to rescue my sander and paint and to move my car into the garage without first driving over a bag of charcoal and a can of refinishing stain.  (he's not used to 'my side')   with supplies and too may things in the way, one needs to be really careful driving 'in' ......   :)

I was still shaking my head to try to wake up from dreaming about a purple small dog I had just rescued... oh, the madness of my mind and I didn't even think I was tired!   My brain has eroded to a new level -- very sad.  Need a peaceful sleep and that will be tonight...  :)  

xo The International Laundress

An 'off' schedule welcomes more work for MOM

Someday when I live my ultimate dream of living alone in the woods with a cleaning lady, I will recall the start to this morning and NO, I am not 'making up' stuff for content. 

I was peacefully sleeping in - windows open too  (what a concept) determining that our whole, neighborhood and town must be chronically exhausted - not even a barking dog or a car driving by ... it was eerily quiet - and nice.  Being a Saturday this never happens and I should know better. 

Then the madness began... 'Good Sport Husband' was anything-but-that, reporting to me as he sputtered while in 'discovery-mode'  that Darling Daughter was 'in a hurry' and because 'it wasn't 5 am' (her usual weekday schedule) she decided because it was  now 7 am and Saturday -- with  a pending luxurious  stream shower (which is another story) that it was not her job to let 'The Girls' OUT.. (our dogs) .... so as you can only imagine... a HUGE poop mess throughout our office on everything!  They had been waiting...   To compound things,  Darling Son was already drilling away on a video game in the basement and he also determined because this was not a 'weekday' for him,  that  he didn't have THAT particular job either... good huh?  Both independently working off the same game card ... this place kills me.    Did I mention (?) Good Sport Husband's frustration resulted in slamming a door and knocking a painting off the wall in the kitchen - one with two nails... I'll need a 'level' to fix that... so with my first cup of coffee in hand I began the unpleasant task of recalibrating this house. 

The 'other story' on the 'shower'- just 2 weeks ago we hired a painter to fix the peeling ceiling paint because of these steam showers only this time, (I might add) with  moisture and mold resistant paint -- I can already tell by the puckering that this paint was not tested on a teenage girl.

and so the day begins....

xo

The International Laundress

P.S. I would like to thank my Good Sport Husband for later breakfast in bed and apologize to him for  having to go and get a key to get in to my safe zone. :)

 

Definately a bad signal that needs tuning...!

Yesterday I found a several of my kitchen dish towels in my Darling Son's  dresser drawer in his room, and it occurred to me that it's probably time to reorganize his messy room. Long pants now come up to his knees, long sleeves are  just below his elbows. The idea of having him make a 'give-away pile' (I know from experience), will not be happening here... He could care less.... and... I'll get to that next week .. LOL ... but it does reflect on a key part of raising ADHD kids....

As Mom's the-world-over know, kids with ADHD are not what anyone would call 'tuned-in' when it comes to 'organization' ... like a bad signal on a TV-- I honestly don't think they even 'see' the path of destruction that is before them (or behind them) - mess is their comfort, a way of life - .... discovering dish towels mixed with t-shirts is not even a concern.

Because both of my children have the 'gift' of ADHD....oldest child, Darling Daughter, has always been the leader when it comes to...'disorganization and mess' -- her hallmark trait from the time she could walk.

Ready, Set...GO !

As a toddler I attempted to contain the mess with a  'gated community' idea by putting a  'gate' on her bedroom door to minimize the damage to the rest of the house.  Even then, she would figure out how to escape.  Like Houdini she would find clever ways to break out from under a fishing net I had secured with bungie cords over the top of her crib -  the 'gate' would then be next... her mission of mass destruction always began at the crack of dawn.  When not manically jumping on the bed she was climbing (or is it called 'exploring'?)  to get into things -- nothing was off limits... toys everywhere - not possible to 'baby-proof' this curiosity.... messes continued ….

Once an elementary teacher told me that her desk and the area around her desk was like a 'hampster cage' ... I couldn't resist saying...'you should see her room'. Now as a teenager, it is still astonishing ... homework buried in wet towels, cosmetics ground into the carpet, large empty tubes of hair gel on display and hair ' spray ' on the walls.  She loves it like that -- Darling Daughter has even declared to me how she can't find anything when the room is organized.... really? 

So the 'dance' begins ...  it will all be perfectly cleaned and organized, I might add, when she wants her 'texting' back... that's my 'channel' .... well, at least something works  :)

xo

The International Laundress

An Important Technical Correction :)

Since earlier this month we have been busy busy with Goodnighties sleepwear (my business) ..... but I'm not too busy to correct important facts brought to my attention from one VERY alert reader regarding my previous post 4/26/11 ... it seems that I have horrifyingly confused Deer Poop (turds) with Creamy Coyote Sh**.....  Sorry about that (trying to keep things 'real' here)  .... After extensive research I have learned the difference ....  and THAT difference I might add, is what ended up on the necks of 'the girls' after they rolled in 'it' ...  so now you know the difference - apparently coyotes roam in our tony suburb.  Who knew?

What I can communicate with certainty is that it's disgusting on dog fur.

Have a lovely day now that we have this straight! 

xo The International Laundress

The Creamy  Stuff

'The Girls'

  

Deer- I-say... A Lucky Day!



'The Girls'



Today must be my lucky day! I actually found a matching pair of gorgeous Tiffany-colored rubber gloves with the fingers intact under my kitchen sink.  This was an exciting find so I could then more quickly clean the disgusting wet smear of tar-colored deer poop off the furry neck of Emma, our Old English Sheepdog.  She loves to roll in 'it'. 

As I was driving home from the dog park today, I noticed the strange odor, quickly pulled over and 'yep' it was a mess.  To compound things, her 'sister' Lollipop (the black one) had covertly also gotten into 'it' ...  only I didn't notice until 'it' was completely dried around her neck.

At home, I first started rummaging in the garage for a glove and came across several 'lefts' and a cute  pink polka-dot cuffed  pair with rotted-fingers.  Frantic, I was thinking then that this was not going to end well.   Then my luck turned ...  finding matching gloves that were hole less was as amazing as finding that the overflow of disgusting poop didn't get all over my car-seats!  
  woo-hoo ... my life is turning around! 

Off to bed - nite nite (my favorite part of the day! ) ;)  

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished :)

I don't usually go shopping for new 'projects' or more 'work' - and I certainly don't look for problems that aren't initiated here.... I do however, like to help a friend in need when I can.... so when my college roommate's friend's daughter (age 25), whom I’ve never met- (and I’ve never met her mother either). Found herself in need of some local emotional help and guidance, I was happy to oblige... 'sure, give her my number - and my email address.' The other adults in her life were out-of-state.

I should have known better, from my own experience, that these 'projects' usually morph into my favorite mantra. 'NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED'.... and in this case, that proved true (again). It seems that friend-of-friend daughter was having boyfriend problems and was looking for a local 'friend' (ME) to help make life easier for HER. I first received a pitiful email that detailed the drama and all HER personal issues stating pretty directly.... that she would like to bring HER THINGS to OUR house and to stay HERE until she can 'get back on her feet'.... huh?

 HERE? 

She then boldly called to follow-up and.....at that point, I almost agreed for the sole purpose of teaching her a good lesson!  :)

Kids today feel so entitled and the idea of adults fixing everything has become their 'solution'. This request was stunning to me... As mentioned in my previous column, I have a chronic cough that would scare anyone....wild sassy teenagers in and out of this house .....barking dogs and oh, almost forgot - we are running a business from here too... Join the fun ! Good-sport husband wouldn't even listen to the last message from her kept saying 'Make it GO AWAY !...  MAKE IT GO AWAY ! '.... This time, I had to agree with him ! Out-of-state adults needed to 'fix' this one. :) And fortunately they did! Need to take a nap before I go to bed.. (again) 

xo
The International Laundress

'Good' Friday....NOT anymore.... :)

For Mom's with 'Good Friday' day off from school-they know intuitively, with teens, that it's not 'Good' ....what a phrase!  More arguing, no structure - everyone under foot.  The days of taking advantage of a 'day off' is over for me.  Back in the time when we could do a wonderful outing together and everyone was excited makes me recall the time when I blew it for my son.  Never to be trusted again!  

With every good intention, I bought tickets to see a famous exhibit called 'Body World'... What happens next is the makings of his future therapy sessions... we found ourselves in a very long line...to then be 'ready' to go 'in'... square in front of us was a real skinned human riding 'bare back' on a skinless horse!  Darling Son was wide eyed and breathless and I was so tried of waiting in line that I made them go 'in' (Darling Daughter thought it was 'interesting')  I have to say, in reflection....I didn't research this like I should have (quickly bought kid-tickets on line!) and standing there in the middle of all these skinned humans and animals was quite a site!  (I was pretty grossed out too)  all I could say was 'Let's go have some lunch!'... Darling Son was pale and now even years later he won't even let me mention the name of that exhibit!  He also is not interested in anymore educational tours - and he can't seem to break a 'C' in Science  hmm?.... so tomorrow will be another video game extravaganza day for him!  oh well...  nite nite!

Hidden Diseases ... Master Plan

 

Long ago ‘good-sport husband’ coined the phrase 'disease infested mongrels' ... meaning; kids in-general... are all ‘carriers’ of disease….I know it's true and from that comment, we have both suffered on and off for years with the things kids bring home.  Colds, coughs, flu, rashes…we have had everything but lice- not to say that's not coming….we're actually overdue!  I have had coughs that remind people of a Tuberculosis outbreak - the kind that turn heads like a bad muffler... lag on for months... requiring 3 different perscriptions of antibiotics to ‘kick’ - the kids are rarely sick they always bounce right back - older parents limp along behind desperate to recover never knowing if they ever will.  

Once Grammie came for a brief visit and left from here on an exciting golf vacation with pink-eye  ;) Nothing is off limits when it comes to sick-germs from kids.  The variety is fast and the onset is swift.  Today I am under-the-weather (which is really saying something with another cold/wet dreary Midwestern day) I went from ‘fine’ to chills, sore-throat and my famous cough in a matter of hours – good-sport husband is also hacking… kids are strong and vital… a master-plan to keep their enemy (us) in a weaker position to make it easier to conquer.   They win today and it's nite nite early for overwhelmed MOM... :)   tomorrow the war begins again!

xo

The International Laundress

The new meaning of "NO" - complicated at best !

When I was growing up I learned very quickly what the meaning of the word 'NO' was. Back then, when clearly spoken in English it had a real meaning. This word from our language had zero room for discussion let alone negotiation.

In my world, I apparently speak a different dialect and the word 'NO' is just a negotiating starting point to begin banter my darling children have perfected over the years. They are both relentless and determined- and they actually love the challenge (it's like a 'hunt') - to beat me down to then conquer. They know the weak points - they can sense opportunity even from a loud shout.  It always begins with 'WHY?' - it's like a square dance that we do... circle to the left ('WHY'?) circle to the right ('WHY'?) – I’m then holding my own- repeating myself ‘NO’…. then the do-si-do begins; (going for the kill)  about all the wonderful things they have done lately that enrich my life ! The dance continues 'allemande LEFT', 'allemande RIGHT' …. They’re masters really they are.... it's not possible to give an answer they will even hear unless it's 'oh, OK you win !'    when you are an older tired MOM this outcome is inevitable (unfortunately)

While not feeling my tip top best tonight (to start ‘dancing’)-- I received a true 'beating' that ended up going from 'NO' to me riding shotgun to 'deliver' darling daughter to a friend’s house. The negotiating was complex, but did end with someone else bringing her home! Compromise is key.. nite nite.. !
Sweet Dreams too!
xo
The International Laundress :)