A parenting reputation- from a murky gene pool

Years ago when I was at the cross roads of figuring out the 'label' of ADHD - (a title that was bestowed upon my darling daughter even before she was 3) --  Many (myself included), looked at this idea as a horrifying proposition.  I really didn't need a 'label' I was just looking for some sleep.  These were hair-raising days with uncontainable energy/impulsively- and curiosity.  At first it was 'cute'... then exhaustion set in.  We always thought the gene pool was a result of two driven Type A-personalities - and not a surprise, her parents were, curious, fun and energetic .... notice the emphasis on  'were'...   When your toddler is whirling through life touching, experimenting-with- everything including putting unknown objects in her mouth, it is a challenge.  I had found her chewing asphalt (thinking it was gum) and drinking a random urine sample at my doctor's office (delicious apple juice?) Her Aunt once watched in awe as she made her own clay using a hose and  grill ashes.  This kid was inventive, determined.... and very swift- needing adult supervision 24/7.  

I knew she was running wild in the neighborhood- but I truly believe looking back,  if I had 'leashed her' to a tree she would have cleverly figured out a way to free herself.   In reflection, it is pretty embarrassing ... 'ADHD' had not yet gone 'mainstream' -- even my own Mother watched in judgement concluding I wasn't tough enough!  My now good friend and neighbor who was also in mouth-dropping judgement of my little darling,  recalls one of her first encounters.....  At 4,  my angel  appeared on her doorstep one bright Sunday morning in her underwear with an armful of water balloons inquiring whether the 9 month old of the house could 'play' ... and I didn't even know she was outside ....  I know bad bad... but until you slog around in my shoes you can't imagine what it's like.  After all, at that time, I was dealing with her prodigy - her younger ADHD brother.  

My Little Corner of Heaven- the laundry room

 For those who may wonder about the origin of the name .... 'The International Laundress'... this began when tired overwhelmed mother.. (ME)  was day dreaming about the glam life.. working pre-kids and jetting off to fab places around the world for a PAID JOB-- that's a fact, but what was also a 'fact' post-kids was when I lamented this particular daydream to my son who was 8 at the time... I was folding laundry telling him about my past life...saying 'I used to do my work all over the world'... and naturally because that idea was unimaginable to him.. darling son applied his scope of experience... and proclaimed 'THAT?' (laundry folding) hence, the name.  So with this new title, I decided I had earned a 'special' room to carry on my duties and I decided to paint a beautiful shade of green and add a few creative accents... like a chandelier with pearls and other colorful accouterments! I do love this place and when I found a bird to match I couldn't resist   meet 'Tutu'.  

Sweet dreams,

xo

The International Laundress

Can I go to bed yet?

Sometimes I remind myself of a whiny kid on a car ride who keeps asking ‘are we there yet?  I find myself thinking …. ‘can I go to bed yet?’   It’s probably pathetic to say, but lately, with stress at a high- pitch...sleeping has become the best part of my day! When days are long like they have been for the past 16 years, it really is a relief that I am able to find a quiet place to relax.…   In my home, my ‘bunker’ from the extreme chaos is my big four-poster bed….. I enjoy being ‘embedded’ in our ‘green zone’ -  ironically our bedroom happens to be painted a calm shade of green (a subliminal color selection to be sure) … For me, bed-time is usually ‘earlier-the-better’… oh, the simple things in life … a good reading light, lots of pillows, scented candle, my comfortable goodnighties jammies and my industrial-grade ear muffs!  With our one-eyed cat ‘Winky’ who is also cuddled in, we are a real pair at bed time… tooth guard, wrinkle cream, goofy socks on the tips of my feet and my big heavy ear covers to block out the world while I am reading.   These ear-muffs I have to say, were one of my better investments in my mental health.  After extensive research, I learned these are the kind that jack-hammer construction workers use or employees directing aircraft to terminals.   Good-sport husband is used to this spectacle… doesn’t even notice, he is usually also in a zombie-like-state watching a learning channel or an old movie.  With the door locked we feel safe.  Later in the evening, hubby will do a walk-through for collateral damage and I can’t even hear the machine-gun fire of expletives as he flushes toilets, shuts off lights, TV’s and open doors in other parts of the house!      

Essential evening mental-health accessory

'Winky' our cuddly one-eyed cat

Ode to Emma Joy!

Emma

As a ghastly way to start your day, few things rank up there with Old English Sheep Dog Diarrhea.  Our beloved Emma had a problem yesterday …. And today, we were kinda playing ‘chicken’ about being the first person 'up' … we knew the kids were sleeping  (it’s Saturday) and being exhausted from another late-night dispatch run … I knew intuitively that we were pushing our normal routine to let  ‘the girls’ out.   Enjoying myself in my cozy bed, (actually wishing to stay 'embedded').... with each minute that passed .... I felt the stress rising…  I was actually bracing myself for a catastrophe…already thinking about my ground tools and the thought of machine-gun fire of expletives from darling husband.    But a revelation has occurred!  NO nightmare messes…today!  What a treat!   My life is at such a low level, I feel like I got a raise and a bonus.     This is exciting news…. I haven’t felt this joyful in a long time !  Woo hoo….   I think great things are in store for me today ! J

The Audacity of Kids!

I am a very busy working mom running a business from a home office and as anyone knows that spells trouble when kids or dogs are involved. Problem is, I have a double dose of both. I need to be available at a moment’s notice for phone calls with a tone of professionalism. I’ve conducted my business while running to outside snow banks, barred myself in a shower stall and finished calls breathlessly in my locked car (sometimes in that order).  My children on the other hand, are completely oblivious to any ‘outside’ activity that I may do that does not involve them. It seems at times, that I’m like a magnet for the blast of noise that follows them….. usually the racket rises with the degree of importance-of-the-call.   It’s like they’re deaf and blind. After years of this it’s uncanny how they can be standing in front of me (barking) while I am on a business call… to then have an impulsive teary eyed teenager making verbal demands and threats as I am doing things that redefine the word ‘multi-tasking’. The contortions on my face alone are the first hint- even the dogs can understand that!   Today was one of those days… Darling Daughter claims to have told me (she didn’t) about a later start to her school day …… I then continued in my usual phone business zone to be accosted by her for an IMMEDIATE ride to school or it would result in dire consequences that related to a Biology exam-- an outcome,  that would then ruin her life. As always …Mommy on Dispatch was there for her.... ‘yes ma’am. 'toot toot' ….. we were on our way as I seamlessly continued my business call. I sometimes think that I wouldn’t know how to work without distractions… could that be the key to success? We’ll see…

I need a 'do-over' LOL :)

Although I sleep in a deep REM stage of  sleep, the other side of my brain is busy busy…usually a night of more working and colorful problem solving, basically ‘saving the world’ (while snoring) Funny though, the very thing that needs ‘saving’ is ME. I laugh thinking of my mother’s latest comment after spending the weekend here….’you need a do-over’ …. No kidding … She was so excited to leave after a just a couple of action-packed days in the chaos. Grammie who lives 4 hours away, was nice enough to take darling daughter out for a little birthday shopping and probably more thrilled that this is only a once-a-year occasion.  She has done her 'time' here.

Still in a daze today from cleaning, managing a guest and work, I knew my day was not going to start without the usual snag, even before my first cup of coffee and my vitamins (2-Excedrin), … I could immediately smell the familiar wafting aroma coming from the office area where the dogs sleep. Yep, Lollipop had a mishap that was likely a result of too many dinner scraps the night before… ‘Daddy’s Little Fatty’ (the one on the left)  always makes sure her plate is clean …. I have ‘the girls’ ( Lollipop & Emma ) on a regular schedule, but ‘accidents’ do happen. Actually gigantic messes that always go unnoticed by the kid who first lets the dogs out...   Like an android, good-sport husband, was already attending to our first calamity of the day.... I then followed up with my usual weaponry – my trusty steam sanitizer…. Like a never-ending relay-race our functions are defined, air-freshener is sprayed and scented candles are lit.   The day continues with the usual fast pace…. So for now- I’m going to actually take a break tonight and read something meaningful like ‘Diary of a Wimpy  Kid'… it’s not too heavy so it won’t hit me in the face when I doze off.  nite nite...