'Driving' ME Crazy !!

Yesterday upon waking, when I first saw my son, I must have looked worse than I feel if that’s possible, because he promptly came in to lecture me on working too much. He then, with all seriousness, brought me the last three books in his series of ‘A Diary of a Wimpy Kid’ – he knew I liked reading the first one and thought this would be a good way for me to pry my fingers off my lap top and relax for a moment. It actually was very sweet- a rare occurrence around here… unfortunately ….No such luck today (about reading his books), business first these days… maybe I’ll read tomorrow. We have had lots of interest in Goodnighties as a result of a cover story in Women’s World Magazine this week that mentions our high-tech pajamas. That then means …lots of work.... busy, busy… which is a good thing.

My restful ‘break’ last night was my twice-a-week ‘date’ with myself while waiting for darling daughter as she works out with a gymnastics club about 20 minutes away. I do cherish this time, but like everything in my life, comes with a penalty… ‘Mom can I drive?’ are words that still make me cringe! I’ve decided there are fewer things more brutal than riding with a teen driver… Ok....being panty hose for Kristi Alley is also a tough one.   I just can’t relax while driving with her (unless I’m drunk…a joke :) … I still clench- even after a year of this and we are still shouting at each other and fighting over the radio and I don’t see that ending any time soon. I feel like I’m riding shotgun in a demolition derby with expensive cars. I know I shouldn’t have my feet on the dashboard, but I just can’t help myself. The required ‘rap’ music she needs to have to ‘focus better' claiming ‘I can’t drive without it’ …… I didn’t want to take further chances!  So my stress level rises to a new pitch....

The idea that way-back-when someone came up with the idea that a 16 year old could handle driving on their own, I think was meant for a tractor in an open field. I shutter when we are next to a proud older driver in their shiny fancy car- I want to yell  …’stay clear’ you’ll be sorry save yourself while you still can !  The warning sign I had made for my back window is just not big enough.

The Unexplained Mystical Underworld of Cleaning

Even without going to Hogwarts for training it seems that I have mystical powers to be able to spot things like empty containers in the refrigerator or more remarkably, garbage in the built-in slide out rack that is just filled to the brim. This supernatural talent can also spot filthy dirty counter tops and jelly on cabinet handles that need to be wiped off, or ketchup stains on a damask tablecloth… hmm ? -- that might be chocolate.   Occasionally I will have an understudy...(my son) helping me…. his specialty is 'floors' but today he got a little too aggressive with a stiff scrub brush and he scrubbed off what he called 'the wallpaper' -- which was really the white cabinet finish near the floor.   He tries to be helpful.... but sometimes leaves me breathless after 'assistance' like standing in the pull out garbage rack.... not a good outcome. With no filter for his thought-process his immediate 'solution' is the one he goes for with plenty of gusto - not a thought to the consequence!

Another ‘helper’ like a Nimbus 2000 and one I treasure as the hardest worker in this kingdom....my new bright fuchsia vacuum- a 'gift' from my husband- matches my stilettos (a joke). With every good intention he bought it for me a few weeks ago and rather than buy the floor model - he wanted me to have a 'new' one,  one which I had to put together myself.  Since I'm always looking for new things to do (another joke), I then had a moment to bond with my new companion.... I kept thinking...(to the vacuum) 'you poor little thing....what a horrible job you have before you!' I'll be nice, but it's a tough life-long commitment, almost as bad as being a high traffic rug in this house! So far, we are getting along great. :)  we both like to be unplugged! :) Sweet Dreams,  Zzzz




The Crown Jewel of this Kingdom! 

 

Window To My World....err, I mean 'door'!

My children have a very strict aversion to simple things that would make a big difference in my disposition...and by extension, their life! ....they just don't 'get-it'.  After years of talking about this, the carelessness continues.   It can be as simple as quietly turning a doorknob  before closing a door (like after a 5:00 am shower) or even simpler,  closing a freezer door before leaving the kitchen for the night.  or...my even lower expectation of  just closing an outside door or turning off all the lights and TV?.... Each night I find myself like a jail warden - patrolling the grounds - confirming a lock-down for the night.  Mastering these tasks for them, is apparently a difficult skill in their world.  Is it carelessness, being inconsiderate or just plain stupidity?..... probably all three! 

 For as long as I can recall 'doors' have always been a sacred divide for lots of reasons.  Occasionally I lock my bedroom door (ok, all the time) ....doors are important around here!  A few years ago  my son had a slamming phase that began with first 'losing' the knob (I took it off) after finding a hole in the wall from a spirited 'open'  with  further sanctions shortly after that of.....  physically removing the door for 2 years! this was after the door frame started to go crooked on me.     Finally, the slamming stopped- can we say... slow learner?    My daughter on the other hand, as I have told her time and time again.... is going to get her a** kicked if and when she ever has a roommate or lives in a dorm where she loudly closes doors.   That roommate will also need a hazmat suit...but that's another story.  :D

School DAZED.....

Statistics have indicated that children educated in the US have really fallen behind....DUH!    Japanese kids go to school 43 days a year more than ours and I have feeling they're not playing video games in their downtime!   I am amazed at how many days off my kids have from school  - it's always something!  Ever heard of Casimir Pulaski Day?  Well he was  a Revolutionary War Cavalry Officer born in 1745- I'm sure a great fellow, but giving kids a full-day off of school to celebrate his birthday is a bit over the top!   This week,  my son has two days off, for what? I've stopped asking- especially with Spring Break upon us!   My normally o-kay son is ornery like his pissy sister from new sanctions on his video-game addiction--it's really like heroin for him - he  shakes at the thought of doing something like interacting with non-virtual people or  even worse, reading a book!   His Science grade makes me 'shake' and I'm tried of hearing since November, of how he's on a 'come back' with this class .... yeah right!  So the days of being the crazy uncle in the basement are over... he now is on very limited use with his X-Box.... will be nice to have him return back to society... it was time.

As any ADHD mother knows.... it's A's or D's with these kids... that then translates into a correctional facility or Harvard.  No middle ground here.....everything is extreme!

I recently heard a great analogy about children with this condition... 'They have the brains of a Maserati and the brakes of a bicycle' ... and I wholeheartedly agree with that! Another reason why they need to be constantly monitored!   So exhausting.... off to bed my favorite part of the day! :)   Sweet dreams!   Zzzzz

Year-round... 'March Madness' !

'March Madness' is a term that is not exclusive to the NCAA-

I'm afraid the 'MADNESS' term is more like fill-in-the 'month'

Madness at our house.

Years ago when your shoes would stick to the floor from spilled apple juice, I had a fantasy that my high-alert household (what my brother referred to as a combat triage unit) would settle down.  No such luck- in fact, the messes became bigger, the problems greater, the noise louder and consequently the damage more expensive.  Like war with friendly fire incidents happening everywhere we go to battle with ground-tools  like toilet plungers- marching from bathroom to bathroom.  Full-blown tantrums like heavy machine gunfire when TV remotes are missing and high-tech TV's won't work, a casualty of impulsive button pushing..... to then have electrical circuits BLOW like hand grenades on a regular basis while the smoke detectors SCREECH for burned food or wake us up in the dead of the night for a low battery.  We were just not meant for calm serenity with this gene pool.

My hubby and I are like hostages each morning,  accosted by our captors with demands for money- the 'look' today was more commanding than a Homeland Security Officer at O'Hare - I thought a full-body scan for the coins was next! Then  taxi-curb service to school and my day began.   Did I mention I am probably the only person in this time-zone to be appreciative of losing an hour of time 'day light savings time'... (so I could go to bed sooner) .....

Smart Fabric-- Stupid Mommy

Sometimes I wish I were as brilliant as the fabric used in Goodnighties sleepwear -- it actually does many things at once (comfortable, blocks achy pain, moisture wicks, anti-microbial and will help you sleep better!)  and it doesn't talk back... just quietly does as it's supposed to do! Shhh...don't wake up!

Today was another morning calamity that combined my many skills....only these unlike Goodnighties have to be done one-at-a-time....first, scrapping cheese off of a plate that was microwaved deeply-   Like the toothfairy, it is known throughout the land 'here' that there is a magical figure inside the dishwasher who flies in with surgical tools to meticulously scrap embedded food off plates- I would hate to spoil this for them.  They also believe that this 'fairy' cleans up breakfast dishes and lets the dogs out - apparently two very difficult tasks for hyper-focused kids.  This assessment was followed by poop from impatient dogs in their sleeping area (my office) .... all while having my first cup of coffee!  yum.... Then it was back to TAXI dispatch with direct orders for a quick stop along the way-  the teenage necessities of life - hair gel from Walgreen's a mission of vital importance.    This obsession is tantamount to a case of cigarettes- MUST have once a week.  yes, ma'am.

So in conclusion...'Stupid Mommy' will be trying to be efficient wearing I-pod style pajamas 'smart-fabric' -- and will be 'embedded' in my bed hoping this will absorb into my skin LOL   :)

  It's a rewind to start the week!