An Exercise Hottie.....

There's nothing more motivating than being in an exercise class with a bunch of women talking about their 'periods' ... for me, that subject is past-tense, but there are still days when I just 'fake' it like I can relate. Well… I can relate to the mood swings and bloating- that’s for sure! In my ‘Boot Camp’ exercise class, I'm huffing and puffing talking myself out of a hot flash, practically killing myself, thinking if I can kinda keep up then they won't know how freak'n old I am. It’s a game I play with myself, a reality challenge.

In our family age-faking has been a tradition since my late 30's - my own mother has been lying about MY age for years so I have learned from the best. Because I birthed children at a more mature age, I can almost get away with it (and so can she) .....The problem is, when you do that- you’ve got to keep up the image while still seriously working off ‘baby fat’ in their teen years. That part sucks. I was a producer of a 10 lb baby that began with a full load of infertility drugs as the foundation. Not only is my metabolism f---ked, but my energy is lower which is a bit problematic in the weight-loss business. It's also survival for my, I have to work out to minimally keep up with an ADHD family.

It has been interesting to be at the opposite end of the child rearing spectrum- when my same-age best friend was on a college tour with her son, I was potty training my son! I know I’m not alone in this endeavor, I’ll just have to find some friends my own age to work out with, but one thing’s for sure, I will always keep lathering up on wrinkle cream- the kind with preservatives in it!

This life...in reflection

Don't get me wrong, I am very grateful to have the lifestyle we do and to be able (sometimes) to be home with the kids. This does have a price though in this home. There are regular high-impact times that I can assure you, know one in the world would want to be exposed to- you could never pay anyone either to take over. There are days that I've run away .... days that I have gone on 'strike' and days that I could only wish to get my ass fired from this difficult job. No such luck... :) Mothering is one of those things that unless you do it, you can't even imagine how hard it can be..... I certainly wasn't prepared....being an older Mom with 2 ADHD medicated kids is a challenge in the purest of forms. Never could I fathom this type of 'energy' - a menopausal mom (ME) and a hormonal teenager in the same room...and on the fringe of this; another ADHD medicated child and an unmedicated ADHD husband (the Good Sport) .... well, I'm beginning to think I'm the 'Good Sport' to put up with this crowd --- Keeping this 'energy' harnessed is a form of survival around here. :)

Timing is everything......

Around here it is so rare that I would ever sleep in so today when my son burst in at 6:30 to ask if the fresh white (never worn) turtleneck he had on would be 'OK' to wear for paint-ball camp at 8:30....all I could say was 'perfect'. I'm so sick of interruptions. For years, good-sport husband and I have been bewildered at their timing; our children have a precise sense of it.....it's as though they are 'behind-the-scenes' with fingers up...3-2-1 to come into a room at the exact time the network news is starting. Or when we are in the middle of (an even rarer occasion) a real conversation- to then be interrupted to never again remember what we were talking about. It happens all the time. Our kids have no sense of their surroundings -- like most kids, it's all about them and that moment. With ADHD in the mix...their whirling brains don't even realize what they've done...onto the next interruption! (until their meds kick-in, and even then, there is no magic pill). :)

A Hottie Not-ie

Menopause...now, that's a term... wish I COULD 'pause' ...but if I did, I would probably incinerate on the spot. We live in the midwest and the humidity is killing me. With the wild pace of having an ADHD family it's impossible to slow down and I'm finding myself breathless from this heat mixed with 'flashes'... I'm such a 'Hottie' .... NOTie. Aside from the weather, never thought I would find myself eye to eye with a hormonal teenager (14) in the very year that I was on my last gasp of my child-bearing years. OMG... we are a living WMD -- just waiting to go off! My good-sport husband and son know when to run for cover - this has been going on for a year now, and we still haven't been able to find common ground (or a foxhole)-- mix that with desperate humidity and we just need to take a 'pause' from each other.

Hum de Dumb mess....longer than I'd like

It appears as though I am making up stupid stories to keep myself amused (or others), but I assure you I am not. With that said, yet another mess-story has occurred that began with the best of intention. It all started with good sport hubby and I observing real hummingbirds (finally, something faster than the kids) on our honeysuckle vines. It occurred to me that buying a hummingbird feeder for a Father's Day gift would be a perfect gift! well, wrong again, but true to my style of - multiple steps for simple things, I bought a hummingbird feeder that I gave to good sport dad. Upon opening it, we discovered that it didn't have a picture of the finished product or written directions so I returned to the store for instruction, but this time with sassy unpredictable ADHD teen daughter who occasionally makes bad choices. I instructed her to go in and ask the store people to put it together. Unfortunately, everyone including the store personnel took everything to it's literal degree and the next thing I saw was my daughter returning to the car with an open plastic glass filled with red sugary humming bird juice (it was the 'left over' batch for the feeder). As I was yelling about that (and putting the liquid in my now empty water bottle), we looked into the bag and the clerk (under my daughters watchful eye) had 'loaded' the feeder which had now leaked out into the plastic bag and was half full with red sugary hummingbird 'juice'. Ok, now you're probably thinking, just throw the towel in an cut your losses-- well not me, I need to continue to add steps! Sassy unpredictable daughter then got in the car with this limpid package and was holding it carefully by the handles. We actually made it about 5 miles before the red, sugary hummingbird juice spilled all over the carpeted floor of my car. We continued on! Then at home, determined to make this work..... we loaded the 'left over' into the now empty feeder, where ADHD teen then turned the top too hard and broke the glass for the top! Taa da... the 'project' was over... Happy Father's Day! :)

Happy Anniversary Laundry

There are very few things that remain constant in my life, but one for sure is the tradition that my good sport husband started over 20 years ago. He always takes me out for dinner to celebrate our wedding anniversary. He has always referred to this marked occasion (June 20th) as 'my anniversary' oh, well... I'll take it anyway I can. A lovely night out away from kids/dogs and mess- I wouldn't miss it! We picked a new fancy restaurant where the food has small servings (which is fine with me) and high prices.... You would think that criteria alone would attract a more refined crowd -- no such luck. My 'luck' involved an aggressive older woman with a large hand bag on her shoulder trying to squeeze her fat ass in the table area next to me. The bi-product of that move was a newly filled tall thin-stem glass of my husband's red wine flying through the air all over me and my white summer outfit- even hit the inside of my purse! This move was so swift and quick that the woman didn't even realize what she had done until my good sport husband became not such a good sport and started yelling & swearing at her. It was stressful to say the least.....AND..... you can't beat a night out that involves an 'intermission' to go home and completely change and DO LAUNDRY! :)