Hum de Dumb mess....longer than I'd like

It appears as though I am making up stupid stories to keep myself amused (or others), but I assure you I am not. With that said, yet another mess-story has occurred that began with the best of intention. It all started with good sport hubby and I observing real hummingbirds (finally, something faster than the kids) on our honeysuckle vines. It occurred to me that buying a hummingbird feeder for a Father's Day gift would be a perfect gift! well, wrong again, but true to my style of - multiple steps for simple things, I bought a hummingbird feeder that I gave to good sport dad. Upon opening it, we discovered that it didn't have a picture of the finished product or written directions so I returned to the store for instruction, but this time with sassy unpredictable ADHD teen daughter who occasionally makes bad choices. I instructed her to go in and ask the store people to put it together. Unfortunately, everyone including the store personnel took everything to it's literal degree and the next thing I saw was my daughter returning to the car with an open plastic glass filled with red sugary humming bird juice (it was the 'left over' batch for the feeder). As I was yelling about that (and putting the liquid in my now empty water bottle), we looked into the bag and the clerk (under my daughters watchful eye) had 'loaded' the feeder which had now leaked out into the plastic bag and was half full with red sugary hummingbird 'juice'. Ok, now you're probably thinking, just throw the towel in an cut your losses-- well not me, I need to continue to add steps! Sassy unpredictable daughter then got in the car with this limpid package and was holding it carefully by the handles. We actually made it about 5 miles before the red, sugary hummingbird juice spilled all over the carpeted floor of my car. We continued on! Then at home, determined to make this work..... we loaded the 'left over' into the now empty feeder, where ADHD teen then turned the top too hard and broke the glass for the top! Taa da... the 'project' was over... Happy Father's Day! :)

Happy Anniversary Laundry

There are very few things that remain constant in my life, but one for sure is the tradition that my good sport husband started over 20 years ago. He always takes me out for dinner to celebrate our wedding anniversary. He has always referred to this marked occasion (June 20th) as 'my anniversary' oh, well... I'll take it anyway I can. A lovely night out away from kids/dogs and mess- I wouldn't miss it! We picked a new fancy restaurant where the food has small servings (which is fine with me) and high prices.... You would think that criteria alone would attract a more refined crowd -- no such luck. My 'luck' involved an aggressive older woman with a large hand bag on her shoulder trying to squeeze her fat ass in the table area next to me. The bi-product of that move was a newly filled tall thin-stem glass of my husband's red wine flying through the air all over me and my white summer outfit- even hit the inside of my purse! This move was so swift and quick that the woman didn't even realize what she had done until my good sport husband became not such a good sport and started yelling & swearing at her. It was stressful to say the least.....AND..... you can't beat a night out that involves an 'intermission' to go home and completely change and DO LAUNDRY! :)

Sold Gold....PILLS!

I know I'm getting behind in my writing...just don't want to burn out! -- need to communicate my crazy life in small doses cuz I can't even take it! This morning my son dropped pure gold all over the kitchen floor, really it was a whole bottle of his ADHD medication...Silly me, to think he could just take ONE pill out of the bottle (under my watchful eye) and swallow it ..... just like everything around here, a full blown process- nothing is simple or efficient!.... while I was making breakfast, the pills went flying on the dogs (mostly the sheepdog) and under the stove/table/ refrigerator! Because to me, it's like pure gold (and would probably kill the dogs) we had a real scavenger hunt this morning and it's not even 7 am... to compound things, I'm exhausted from actually hearing storms all night (they were bad if I heard them) so it's going to be another day with a 'coffee drip'... oh well... at least it's something I like. I'll probably also have what us Mom's call a 'suburban highball' around 3 pm.... to get ready for 2nd shift- actually going out with ADHD hubby and will need to keep up ...'dregs and cream' is we call it, loaded with our drug of choice, caffeine.

T.G.I.M ! :)

I'm one of those Mom's who dreads the weekend ...so today is my 'Happy Day' T.G.I.M. ! :)... Usually after surveying the weekend massacre-of-mess around here and everyone has finally gone to their respective activities, I'm free! But not today, kids kept me running (I mean driving) to all points of the area- so much for summer vacation!.... Needed all sorts of things to start first day of camp... Being the ill prepared mom that I am, I was cutting tags off all needed supplies in the Target parking lot at 8:05 am in route to camp! New bathing suit, towel, sandals ...... with coffee in hand I managed this task quickly and my tip for the day is my mini pocket knife.... just the most useful tool! With one kid organized...the next was starting... the high-maintenance one; I obediently started on her 'to-do list' which is still not complete...oh well..there's always tomorrow.

Missed writing last night...was busy correcting a guest writer in our local newspaper who decided that ADHD is a condition you 'catch' from our dysfunctional society! She also made it very clear that kids are needlessly medicated.... Really?!? Well I happen to know differently- with two medicated officially diagnosed ADHD children, I now have a PhD on this subject! I know for a fact, that it's a real physical brain-thing that the kids (and my husband) were born with... sorry to disappoint her. But if she spent a day with my kids unmedicated, she would be a born-again pill pusher. I have to think this writer has never know children who make impulsive decisions like cutting an extension cord under a bed with scissors ('mommy, fire') or a kid that takes a metal fork to new heavy vinyl (for a boat) custom cushion just to hear the popping sound! or how about a child that puts big limestone slabs of stone on the hood of my husband’s newly detailed car?.... or the creative step-stool that was a coffee can of bacon grease (a la Dr. Atkins diet days) that her feet went through to then come and find me in the house?! One kid drank a urine sample (not mine) from my doctor's office.- thought it was apple juice! ......These are not actions of normal kids... normal kids wouldn't even think of these things! So welcome to my world of the ADHD SUPER KID.... daily medication needed!

Bedtime for mommy...

Well, today has been yet another 'work' day for mom... I was excavating crushed limestone from a place in my garden where we used to have a cedar playhouse.. (I tore that down myself on Wednesday) anyway, I worked for hours with a pick to loosen the stones like a prisoner -- oh, yeah, I forgot that's what I am... my kids were naturally 'unavailable' to help so I am not available for dinner duty tonight... my good-sport husband is going to feed this motley crew with take-out so loser mom (me) can sequester herself with a locked door to our bedroom at 6:30 pm and read a Vanity Fair magazine from March '08! I'm hoping I can increase my words-per-evening to 20 before my eyes roll into the back of head and I start snoring...... I'm quite the hottie lately... hoping my husband will remember his key- there is no way I'll hear him beat on the door.