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Saturday, June 11, 2011

Shoot me now...! :)

While I was picking BB's out of my kitchen garbage disposal it occurred to me that my Darling Son needs to find a new hobby and I don't think it's this one.  I was less than enthusiastic that Good Sport Husband (who used to 'shoot' as a kid) recently bought him a Daisy Red Rider air gun (yes, the kind that will 'put your eye out') it was something they had been talking about for a while - you know, male bonding. I knew it had to be a grand idea to pry his fingers off the X Box 360 controls, so after several outside 'lessons' with safety glasses and ground rules he was in our back area shooting plastic water-filled bottles in a matter of days. It is now a fenced target range so neighbors beware!   I had been warming up to the idea of having him do something that involved being outside - quite a change from the underground video game life he has been living.  In usual hyper-focused fashion Darling Son can sometimes now be found practicing in his new 'target-range'  at 5 am....fortunately, it's quiet for an outside activity... unlike trombone playing...
I'm just waiting for something crazy to happen - like a bad dream.  It reminds me of the time in real life when he was tooting his new trombone in the front yard (huh?) and a neighbor kid started chasing him and he tripped over some bushes -- tumbled down and bent the spit valve and other parts which became a major repair.  I know if I've learned anything from this journey of 'parenting' that I need to prepare for the unexpected...hmm?  stay tuned..... 
xo
The International Laundress

Thursday, June 9, 2011

The Beginning of a Leaky Life.... :)

I thought I would enjoy a cup of coffee in bed before I checked damage from a night of torrential rainfall.  This is another area I am extremely experienced in .... that is, cleaning up water in a leaky basement.  This began with the previous owners claiming the unfinished basement water seepage was 'only about a half cup a year' ... which a plumber once translated for me by saying 'they must have meant a 55 gallon drum'.  

So before knowing that, during our move in period (16 days prior to Darling Son's birth 5/26/97), we had  the basement 'finished'. 

In our world, the basement area finished/or not was the deal breaker in our house purchase because we were in desperate need of a bunker to store Darling Daughter's  many toys and most importantly have a contained area for this wildly energetic child to play.  We decided not to wait...remodel NOW... I was set... whoo- hoo...

I immediately turned the room into a darling carpeted pre-school... bright alphabet letters framed the room and her favorite, Sesame Street decals on the wall - learning posters everywhere... couldn't have been cuter (really) ... Once I proudly showed this new space to the previous owner (she was picking up curtains I told her she could have back) and I remember how quiet and pale she became w/ a quick exit... I stupidly thought she must be remorseful at selling her home with such potential a 'vision' she couldn't have imagined as a way of expanding the living space.

So that fateful October rainy night when my intuition told me to check the basement at 1:30 am I was even more horrified (if that's possible) to find a room of floating toys, stuffed animals and books waiting for me.  

It was one of those nights imprinted on my brain.  I quietly salvaged what I could (things like the indestructible Little Tikes kitchen etc.) piled things in our new dining room.  At the time, I didn't know what a sump pump was or where it was...after all, we had carpeted over the floor drain.   

My 'equipment' for clean up was a mini-car vacuum for water collection and after hauling at least 75 buckets of water upstairs to the kitchen sink...my work was done... and my workout for the next 5 years was complete.... Good Sport Husband was shocked when Darling Daughter woke him up at 5 am (the usual time then) to find this mess - just shocked (it was a noted occasion) the beginning of our new reality where nothing would surprise either one of us again. :)
xo
The International Laundress

Friday, June 3, 2011

Friendly Fire from the DMZ :)


Whew, I'm safe... locked in the 'Green Zone,' my bedroom. It's a rewind from being blown from a sound sleep by Good Sport Husband's bazooka-sounding discovery that yes.... involved Darling Daughter.   I knew intuitively exactly what transpired and because this has happened before, I won't bore my readers with the smelly details - except to say that the 'humans' in this house (namely Darling Daughter - an honor student) failed AGAIN on the complicated task of adding the additional 'step' in her daily routine of turning a door knob  (to let high-spirited Lollipop 'out') - after all, it's all about THEM isn't it?  - the second  'step'  in this process, involves turning a key (hmm... maybe that's the hang-up) ? 

Because this poor animal waits and waits and waits while Darling Daughter has a lovely breakfast at 5 am,  then showers, involving at least an hour's time lapse -  her routine of being  fresh & clean makes the office - where the dogs sleep,  (next to this bathroom)  into a catastrophic nightmare and today.... a real DMZ  (Dog Mess Zone) ... and  it was particularly not pleasant under my husband's work area.  So resident (very experienced) 'Poo-pologist' (ME) had to quickly step in (literally) and Save -The -Day.  :)

In the military theatre-of-my-life, these escapades are not part of the time-management of my day...so it's easier to just start over and pretend it didn't happen like a bad dream.   I will also add to that, a broken light bulb mess and helping Darling Son 'escape' from the men's 'tie' he was supposed to wear today that was apparently 'strangling' him complete with red-faced yelling and drama. 

Now for my first cup of coffee my last Excedrin....and hopefully a better 'start' to my day.
xo
The International Laundress :) 

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

I have a DREAM...really I do....

I wish my world was full of 'aha moments' instead of  'OH, NO... 'who broke THIS ? '  or  what is THAT smell ?    I long for a time when my own Mother doesn't lament .... 'I don't know how YOU can take it'.... 

Really?
I get it.....it's crazy 'looking IN '.... it's also crazy 'IN' here ....  but it's the life I've created (whatever that means) .... 'created' ... hmm?

Next time around... my dream would be to 'create' a family that doesn't answer all statements and questions from me with an immediate ....  'WHY?' or 'NO'.... the debating is what is so exhausting  (a link :)...  and I will go back to traveling Internationally  without a cell phone and 'check in' every few months - yeah, that's what I'll do :)   I'll even bring my paints :)

Like a magic carpet ride, it would be a hard adjustment at first (for about a minute).... I would think of the barking dogs, slamming doors, foot prints and weird things stuck to the floor  and Good-Sport Husband's loud tone-deaf singing to C &W music when he is grilling. 


I would also think of my watery eyes as I drove Darling Daughter to school doused with Britney Spears 'cologne' - the true meaning of  'toliet water' ...  I would also think of Darling Son... always running for something in  'white' socks on a dirty driveway -  then both fighting in the 5 minute trip to school with endless strategic conversations about where they are going (later) with my money.    It's endless....  I will think of a time like yesterday when my Darling Daughter decided to (finally) 'check in' with me - stating 'Mom, I'm checking in'  ....  an unprompted startling revelation to be sure that made me first think she was at a hotel... (see, I'm already thinking about my getaway )   :)

xo
The International Laundress




Thursday, May 26, 2011

The 'C'-section as in 'Chaos' Section redefines LABOR

My baby.... Darling Son is FOURTEEN today... wow... and to be honest, I'm not feeling remorseful or any of the other typical MOM-feelings (ok... just a few)... because I can't wait for them to grow up!  I'm more amazed that my brain can still think back on the details of that 'event' ....  what a fiasco....
It seems like  just yesterday when we had moved into our home 16 DAYS prior to his Birth-day.  Leading up to that momentous occasion,  I was immersed in unpacking many many boxes, painting shelves, closets and the kitchen, hanging draperies, up and down on ladders and chasing 3-year-old Darling Daughter.  (Did I mention I also was on crutches with a major sprained ankle).... the 'darling' baby blue nursery was on the back-burner so to speak... hadn't even bought diapers (yet)

Because of my advanced maternal age and the fact that Darling Son was in a breech position -- a tidy C-section was scheduled for 5/29 so I was under deadline...  What I didn't know was....I was heading into my own extended 'C-Section' as in 'Chaos-Section' ramping up for the idea that  ONE (kid) + ONE (kid) = 's at least FIVE in our house   and I might add, not the kind of value anyone wants.

The night all this began,  I found myself  on May 26th  at 2 am having my own shock and awe moment when my water broke.  These are life events you don't forget... but I apparently 'forgot' to arrange any kind of a plan and couldn't even find my shoes to go the hospital    With a towel between my legs I was waddling around the house throwing things together for my pending overnight...not telling anyone (yet)  the only thing I could remember was my doctor's number... he told me to call him in route (23 miles away) - naturally, I was not pre-registered at the hospital and didn't know where to go - had planned to work on that on 5/28   The other problem in all this commotion, was the 3 year old staring at us.  No family nearby and I didn't know any neighbors yet, so I got lucky (a rarity indeed) when my dear friend 12 miles aways just happened to be in town and just happened to answer the phone at 2:15 am to hear that a drop-off was emanate.  It was HER lucky day... err I mean middle-of -the-night.    By that time, my pain (that old familiar feeling) was starting to build - I was definitely in LABOR .... lunatic Good-Sport Husband, refused to speed or blow through red lights and I was yelling (offering to drive)  as we got lost trying to find this strange new hospital in a major urban city in the dark.   The cobble-stone streets were killing me as we bumped along... flagging down cabbies who had limited English skills for directions.  This whole escapade makes me tired  just thinking about it so I will move on... at 5:30 am that day, my healthy baby boy was born.....and then the real work began -- the 'Labor' of my life started ... :)

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Brain Erosion - it's happening! Zzzz

We have always said if you are in need of a nap, the last place in this house would be to try to sleep on one of our living room couches... in fact, it's been compared to sleeping in the middle of a road --- waaay too many kids, dogs and chaos.... open doors and windows..... so you're just asking for trouble if you think even for-a-second that it's a place to relax (let alone sleep)...


Today, being a quiet Sunday afternoon,  I surprised even myself when I started reading the newspaper to then wake from a REM sleep about ninety minutes later.   Good-Sport Husband even said there was a loud crash of thunder that I didn't even hear... oops... additionally, because I hadn't checked the weather, I was refinishing furniture with plans to finish, and my plugged in electric sander and paint supplies were all outside as a flash rain storm hit our area  .... upon waking, I was DAZED (and shocked) .....to compound things, my car with all windows down (naturally) was also completely exposed to this quick storm...  Good-Sport Husband quickly jumped to rescue my sander and paint and to move my car into the garage without first driving over a bag of charcoal and a can of refinishing stain.  (he's not used to 'my side')   with supplies and too may things in the way, one needs to be really careful driving 'in' ......   :)

I was still shaking my head to try to wake up from dreaming about a purple small dog I had just rescued... oh, the madness of my mind and I didn't even think I was tired!   My brain has eroded to a new level -- very sad.  Need a peaceful sleep and that will be tonight...  :)  

xo The International Laundress