Sunday, December 28, 2014

The 'Moment' Was Right..... To Laugh!

Hello to my faithful readers.....

I thought I was done with 'ah-ha' moments until my cute, stylish, high-energy (very opinionated) 85 year old mother ('The Whirling Dervish')  asked me "Haven't you ever had that wonderful totally 'in love' feeling?"   HUH?   She was gushing to me about her new boyfriend 'Phil' - just fully in LOVE.... its resulted in her 2nd marriage proposal since her 2nd husband 'Bill' died 3 years ago. This time, not interested in turning her current name into a lengthy law firm like-title, she has decided to play this one out 'til-death-do-us-part' which at their age, has real meaning. For me, still trudging along in 'survival mode' her poignant question really gave me pause ....... like,  absolute explosive hysterical tears, running down both of our faces!  She has become quite the 'Love Vixen' .... she just kills me. 
It was the first time I had had a laugh like that since about 1991 - We concluded my 'love feeling' was a 14 year old boy I met once on a ferry boat to Nantucket on a family outing  - he had a toothbrush in his pocket and was very cute.  

For me, I married my love interest waaaay back in 1987.  A very 'gregarious', southern-born polite fellow who fidgets and paces -- and (not a surprise) is always busy... busy having a successful career in sales and sales's an 'energy' which companies should pay extra for.  My 'good-sport' husband has been a challenging partner but I have somehow learned to live with this 'fun'.... so as that relates to our children....  

Like most females at 33 my biological alarm went off for childbearing - a 'clock' which I should have hit the 'snooze' button (err, I take that back.... I should have CUT the cord to the socket) and adopted a couple of dogs .... but I stubbornly forged on...     Brutal infertility for years and when almost 39 years old, I had my 1st.... 'darling daughter'   It was a 'happy' time ( that is, until the moment she escaped from her play pen) she then became the wildest, high-energy 'gregarious' kid to ever be born to this planet.  Her cuteness also got the best of me and then like magic (and I mean magic)  - a 2nd child appeared 3 years later (Like the virgin Mary, I'm still amazed) a 'gregarious' son ..... Did I mention this IS the definition of tired!? Having children after 40 anyway is not a pretty picture-----    omg   It seems this genetic combination was littered with 'good sport husband' and a dominate gene (which skipped me) from, 'the Love Vixen' (formally known as 'The Whirling Dervish') .... both are very similar in temperament... together..... they are oil and hot oil.  As a 'gang' words.
So our little 4-pack began and through the years 'Gregarious' (a term to 'hit' both children) is a word now with new meaning!  - utter chaos, mouth dropping messes, continuous repairs, indescribable exhaustion.... just thinking about it makes me want to put a colorful belt around my neck
and enjoy a good relaxing swing.
 I could also now ask one of my darling children to do something and if they would comply on the 1st request- that would be quicker than a massive heart-attack.  The other thing I could do is ask 'good sport husband' to follow a simple instruction and not have to repeat 3 times or write it down (and if he actually did it correctly) I would faint and then die.  I might note, over the years, that's like most husbands - only with mine.... it's with gusto! 

Oh, the long days and the short years have come upon me quickly..... Lots of incredible stress, indescribable messes, yelling, screaming, mental breakdowns and all the wonderful medications needed to survive.
Thanks (with love) to Coffee, Prozac, high-blood pressure meds... Xanx, Adderall/Concerta...then Vyvanse and Focalin - the children are now educated and are finding their passion.  As many know, since ADHD went 'mainstream' this variety of child is 'gifted' in their area of interest and if that 'talent' is not uncovered it's a quick path to prison with low self esteem from impulsive stupid behavior.

If you are a follower of this (when-I-feel-like-writing) blog, the direct 'special' gene
for this condition (in our family) comes from 'Good Sport Gregarious Husband'  and it also comes from the 'Whirling Dervish' (My Mother the 85-year old love-struck 'Vixen') - she has always wisely said her 'cure' for ADHD was a leather belt from her father in the 1930's  - and not the kind for a restful swing.  Those were the days.   

We have on-going conversations (err, I mean fights)  about how 'everyone has ADHD' today but normal humans know that is not the case. It's a real condition which drives millions of people crazy (those who don't have it).

So as someone sandwiched between a genetic field of ruckus -  I have become an older (but much wiser)  'Not-So-Good-Sport-Wife/Mother' and at times it's no fun. The years of messes, chaos, disorder sometimes gets the best of me.   Now with my unmedicated husband we find ourselves with more 'quality' time together than either of us like..... it's a term I call ...."Fucking Annoying" but it is what it is- the music of my life!
The needle on this screeching record is scratched and it digs deeply into the grooves of my battered life.
My 'goals' in life now and my greatest gift ever would be to have 'good sport husband' join the wonderful life-of-chemistry we all have grown to know (well) and love.   In my world it's called 'survival' and hopefully with that, I won't be 85 when that total 'love feeling' hits! 

The International Laundress